nevermind the mess

Steve and his Doppeldaughter. Our daughter looks just like my husband. She's got his deep blue eyes, golden brown hair, and round little pie face. Nicknamed his little Doppeldaughter , it's clear that she is a living, breathing replica of her dad's DNA. And behind those denim blue eyes, I know there's some of my own genetic material in there, too. She's a copy of both of us...a physical expression of our combined DNA. And now she's out in the world, racking up hundreds of "likes" on social media. Not to mention the monetary compensation she gains as well, in the form of food, diapers, clothing and free housing. That sounds like a pretty obvious case of copyright infringement to me. We made her, and now she's using our genetic composition without a license to do so. The question is, can we sue my daughter for biologically, and more importantly,  financially,  benefitting from our labor? No. Because that would be ridiculous. You know w...

It came as no surprise to me when Omar Mateen walked into  Pulse  nightclub and opened fire, killing 49 people and injuring dozens more. I think we all know what the real message is here. You shouldn't be going to gay nightclubs. They are teeming with drunk, sex-craved twenty-somethings who listen to loud music and love to party all night long. Wait. Hold on. Aren't all  nightclubs like that? If you really want to stay safe, you shouldn't be going to any  nightclubs. Or movie theaters, for that matter. Movie theatres, where the floors are sticky, it's pitch black, and who knows what kind of monster might be sitting in that back row! So it also came as no surprise that on July 20, 2012, James Holmes, wearing a costume and carrying a 12 gauge shotgun, semi-automatic rifle, and a handgun, murdered 20 people at close range and wounded 70 others. The movie theatre industry was already on its last legs, and this act really closed the curtain. I haven't gone s...

The San Diego Zoo is known as one of the city's biggest and best attractions, and enjoyed year round by tourists and residents alike. You can go hundreds of times and never see the same thing twice. After countless trips to the zoo, I began to notice a trend. Every time I go, I see several people wearing Pink Floyd tee shirts.    You know when you learn a new word and then start seeing it everywhere? It was kind of like that, but I can't remember the last time I've seen anyone wearing a Pink Floyd shirt outside of the zoo, and it got me thinking.  Maybe there is some sort of cosmic connection between the San Diego Zoo and Pink Floyd. It then dawned on me that Pink Floyd has an album entitled  Animals .  It appears there's a sub-culture of zoo visitors who, inspired by the music of Pink Floyd, are making a subconscious effort to get in touch with their primal, instinctual selves, and to seek out the company of animals. So here is my theory of the correl...

I live in San Diego.  It's a desert, but it's far from deserted. It is home to over a million people, yet there's no source for drinking water in sight. How is this possible?  Like Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and the Imperial Valley, we get 80% of our water from the Colorado River.  That's over a thousand miles away!!! What's more, Southern California is prone to drought, fires, and seasonal dry winds, yet we use water like it's in limitless supply.   We sprinkle green golf courses. We build fountains and swimming pools. We take long, hot showers and baths. And we do one very special thing that shows we clearly just don't effing care. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... the courtesy flush.   The courtesy flush means flushing the toilet a second time to better clean the bowl after you've number twoed in it.  Yes, that's right. W e would rather waste gallons of perfectly clean, fresh water than suffer the embarrassment of letting other people find o...

We found Tiki in the street twice.  The first time was when we rescued him from the engine of an old van, where he and four of his baby brothers and sisters had been abandoned.  The second time was on Thursday morning, when I found him lying dead in the gutter. The car didn't stop. Ther e was nothing anyone could do.  We didn't get to say goodbye. How could he be taken away from us so suddenly, so tragically, so young?  We had just moved in to our new apartment. We had been so careful about choosing a place that was cat friendly. The neighbors all had cats. There was a back yard where they could bask in the sun. Our old boy Django was happy to have a small area to enjoy. But little Tiki was adventurous. He just had to go exploring. Onto the roof and over the gate. Tiki wasn't afraid of anything. Tiki loved being a cat and we just couldn't keep him indoors.  That morning, I woke up and noticed Tiki hadn't come in. And Django, who always appeared li...

My Very Own Books Box As soon as I heard about Little Free Libraries, I knew I wanted to make my own. What a great idea!  A public library, right on your own street, that's always open, and always free.  It nurtures a sort of social reading network, where you get to meet the books that live in your neighborhood, and the people who read them. One of the More Upscale Models Around Town My little Books Box started when we moved to our new apartment in South Park, San Diego. After we moved in, we had boxes of books I needed to unpack.  Books I loved, but knew I would never read again.  So out they went.  I put them in a cardboard box near the curb that said "free books". Over the next few days, I delighted in hearing people rifle through the box and carry off one of my old, well read books.  And then they were all gone. We went for a walk around our neighbohrood one afternoon, and we came across a Little Free Library. It was painted the same color ...

What do you call someone who speaks  TWO  languages?  Bi-lingual.  What do you call someone who speaks THREE languages? Tri-lingual. Q:  What do you call someone who speaks  ONE  language?  American. My Early Days as an ESL Teacher, 2009 That's me. A typical American. Raised on television, fast food, and fireworks.   I used to think that people from Switzerland spoke a language called Swiss. I always figured that people from Brazil spoke Spanish.  "Chinese" was a blanket term for anyone who looked or sounded Asian. I was a regular Yankee Doodle Dumbbell.   And there I was, on my first day of work, standing in front of a room full of strangers from all over the world, none of whom spoke English.  My job was to make them all talk.   Speaking English has always been so easy for me.  Piece of cake, right?  If I had known that day that I was about to get myself into, I might not have g...