Can We Still Be Friends After Babies?

best friends, babies, pregnancy, relationships, friends after babiesOne of the hardest things for me as a new mom has been maintaining relationships with several of my closest friends...the ones who don't have kids.  They either haven't started families yet or have decided that it's just not the right path for them. And that's fine! I love my friends and I totally respect their choices. And they can show me they respect my choice of becoming a mom by simply not saying the following three things to me. Ever.

1. I'm so tired.


No you're not. You've never been tired and you'll never be tired until you've been screamed awake three times a night for six straight months.
Oh, you went dancing all night and slept till noon and now you're tired?

No you're not. Trust me.

2. My mom is such a _ _ _ _ _(insert expletive here)


No she's not. Go over there and hug her and apologize.

Having a baby is like a getting the gift of insight into a whole new world of family dynamics.
Yes, moms can be annoying, but so can daughters. You can't just take your friend's side so easily anymore.

3. Omg, there's an am-aaaazing new restaurant downtown with an awesome late night happy hour menu and a super cute waiter who slips us free appetizers and cocktails. You should come!


As your friend paints you a vibrant picture of this dreamy new hotspot, you're holding back tears and envisioning yourself swooping in on this new swanky locale in your mom capris wearing a screaming baby who has just laid a brown egg in her diaper.

Your version of eating-out currently includes a drive-thru window and an abandoned parking lot where you try to scarf down whatever crap you just ordered before the baby wakes up. Cute waiters serving au jus, au gratis, is just too much of a fairy tale for you to handle.

So, dear friend, I love you. I miss you. I'm not asking you to change, but I had to. Things are just different now. Can we still be friends after babies? I really hope we can.

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