nevermind the mess

One of the hardest things for me as a new mom has been maintaining relationships with several of my closest friends...the ones who don't have kids.  They either haven't started families yet or have decided that it's just not the right path for them. And that's fine! I love my friends and I totally respect their choices. And they can show me they respect my choice of becoming a mom by simply not saying the following three things to me. Ever. 1. I'm so tired. No you're not. You've never been tired and you'll never be tired until you've been screamed awake three times a night for six straight months. Oh, you went dancing all night and slept till noon and now you're tired? No you're not. Trust me. 2. My mom is such a _ _ _ _ _(insert expletive here) No she's not. Go over there and hug her and apologize. Having a baby is like a getting the gift of insight into a whole new world of family dynamics. Yes, moms can be annoying, b...

The Magical Mystery Books Box Something strange is going on and I love it. Remember that Books Box  I built outside my house? Well, I am now convinced that it has magical powers. I built a free library in front of my house for people to give and take books. I never could have imagined what resulted from this one small act of neighborly love. It seems that by building the Books Box, I have inadvertently constructed an antenna which picks up signals from another dimension, and I am now tapped in to the power of the law of attraction and all the universe has to offer. Let me try to explain. The idea of a little free library is simple. Construct a shelter, fill it with your old books that you no longer want to hang on to, and offer them to others, no strings attached. Your books quickly find themselves with new owners, and new old books arrive to take their place. Read. Return. Repeat. People walk buy and I hear them get excited to take a peek at what's new, or old. Th...

Steve and his Doppeldaughter. Our daughter looks just like my husband. She's got his deep blue eyes, golden brown hair, and round little pie face. Nicknamed his little Doppeldaughter , it's clear that she is a living, breathing replica of her dad's DNA. And behind those denim blue eyes, I know there's some of my own genetic material in there, too. She's a copy of both of us...a physical expression of our combined DNA. And now she's out in the world, racking up hundreds of "likes" on social media. Not to mention the monetary compensation she gains as well, in the form of food, diapers, clothing and free housing. That sounds like a pretty obvious case of copyright infringement to me. We made her, and now she's using our genetic composition without a license to do so. The question is, can we sue my daughter for biologically, and more importantly,  financially,  benefitting from our labor? No. Because that would be ridiculous. You know w...

It came as no surprise to me when Omar Mateen walked into  Pulse  nightclub and opened fire, killing 49 people and injuring dozens more. I think we all know what the real message is here. You shouldn't be going to gay nightclubs. They are teeming with drunk, sex-craved twenty-somethings who listen to loud music and love to party all night long. Wait. Hold on. Aren't all  nightclubs like that? If you really want to stay safe, you shouldn't be going to any  nightclubs. Or movie theaters, for that matter. Movie theatres, where the floors are sticky, it's pitch black, and who knows what kind of monster might be sitting in that back row! So it also came as no surprise that on July 20, 2012, James Holmes, wearing a costume and carrying a 12 gauge shotgun, semi-automatic rifle, and a handgun, murdered 20 people at close range and wounded 70 others. The movie theatre industry was already on its last legs, and this act really closed the curtain. I haven't gone s...

The San Diego Zoo is known as one of the city's biggest and best attractions, and enjoyed year round by tourists and residents alike. You can go hundreds of times and never see the same thing twice. After countless trips to the zoo, I began to notice a trend. Every time I go, I see several people wearing Pink Floyd tee shirts.    You know when you learn a new word and then start seeing it everywhere? It was kind of like that, but I can't remember the last time I've seen anyone wearing a Pink Floyd shirt outside of the zoo, and it got me thinking.  Maybe there is some sort of cosmic connection between the San Diego Zoo and Pink Floyd. It then dawned on me that Pink Floyd has an album entitled  Animals .  It appears there's a sub-culture of zoo visitors who, inspired by the music of Pink Floyd, are making a subconscious effort to get in touch with their primal, instinctual selves, and to seek out the company of animals. So here is my theory of the correl...

I live in San Diego.  It's a desert, but it's far from deserted. It is home to over a million people, yet there's no source for drinking water in sight. How is this possible?  Like Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and the Imperial Valley, we get 80% of our water from the Colorado River.  That's over a thousand miles away!!! What's more, Southern California is prone to drought, fires, and seasonal dry winds, yet we use water like it's in limitless supply.   We sprinkle green golf courses. We build fountains and swimming pools. We take long, hot showers and baths. And we do one very special thing that shows we clearly just don't effing care. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... the courtesy flush.   The courtesy flush means flushing the toilet a second time to better clean the bowl after you've number twoed in it.  Yes, that's right. W e would rather waste gallons of perfectly clean, fresh water than suffer the embarrassment of letting other people find o...

We found Tiki in the street twice.  The first time was when we rescued him from the engine of an old van, where he and four of his baby brothers and sisters had been abandoned.  The second time was on Thursday morning, when I found him lying dead in the gutter. The car didn't stop. Ther e was nothing anyone could do.  We didn't get to say goodbye. How could he be taken away from us so suddenly, so tragically, so young?  We had just moved in to our new apartment. We had been so careful about choosing a place that was cat friendly. The neighbors all had cats. There was a back yard where they could bask in the sun. Our old boy Django was happy to have a small area to enjoy. But little Tiki was adventurous. He just had to go exploring. Onto the roof and over the gate. Tiki wasn't afraid of anything. Tiki loved being a cat and we just couldn't keep him indoors.  That morning, I woke up and noticed Tiki hadn't come in. And Django, who always appeared li...